Hospice-My friend
Wednesday
Large room. Her name on door, handwritten.
Room
for one, wide and open.
Frail scantily covered with hospital gown, friend lays in bed, laughing.
Some exchange about TV.
The sudden
Eyes wide-shock-unblinking-lock on mine. Panic?
"I need a doctor opinion"
Huuu huuu gasps,
looking confused
"What doctor? What question?"
"Ya know like on soap operas when they keep bickering?"
"Uhhh oh soap Operas..."
rring. Answers phone and lifts to ear "Oh Hi Patti" nice snd clear. Oh, giggle, busy!" "Ok, thanks, ttyl"
During pause I noticed the pink standard issue thin plastic pitcher has fallen.
To me-
"Sorry I did not accept invitation to the Caves."
"It is ok, we can all make choices"
"I just don't know what they have there"
"You made a choice and that is ok"
"Oh your pitcher fell down" Here ya go. Placed back on tray. Seemed simple, it was empty.
A plastic wrapped paper plate sat on the tray. Tightly securing a serving of spaghetti & sauce sprinkled with cheese. And a dinner roll.
I walked in hall to use restroom. A helper greeted me, asked if I had questions. I declined, referred her to a friend who has been more involved.
Stepping back in, I noticed pitcher had leaked to moisten 1/3 of bedding, including under her tan hospital ankle-socked feet. I asked if her feet felt wet. No response.
I asked "do you wanna eat? And got a glare. She was always decisive about what she ate or not. So let it go.
She said, "I need a breathing treatment"
So I let the friendly helper know updates & said she will change sheets and get breathing treatment.
Hug, hand squeeze and left.
Felt like she was quite alone.
----------
Thursday
Same room, same time.
Purple, dark, oval under wax papery skin of her left arm. Today I noticed her right hand was resting on a small black purse. Her left hand on her phone. She was in and out of slumber.
Opened eyes when helper stepped in the greet me. I asked if I could hold her hand, which I did, then she asked about my day. I showed clips of monarch butterfly emerging from chrysallis on our back porch that morning. She looked, said "ooh", then snored. When she opened her eyes again she said, "do you want some jello" and "I can't find the call button". "Its white and yellow".
There is was, as described, under pillow propping her arm. In her hand she held the button down "Can I get some jello?"
We sat awhile, I told her what a great spiritual friend she has been, how she keeps everyone around her going, and how, when she is resting w God, someday I'll meet here there and really get to swap stories. She fuzzed in and out but seemed to nod.
I said I had to go, she raised her head and asked "Whats the weather outside?"
"Muggy, but not THAT hot". Housto
regular.
"Oh yeah" she agreed.
------------
Friday
Breathing, gasping, from mouth. Dry cracked lips.
Jelly beans on tray & floor.
Juice with straw looks consumed.
Chest looks caved, achy.
She seemed so thirsty. Put right ha d fingers between her lips.
I put straw in another juice and held to her lips. "Do you want to drink?" She did not close lips. I asked "Can you close your lips?" When it was moved away she closed her lips briefly. (Maybe she is saying no). I said "Ok one more time, I'll put it up and if you don't drink I'll take it as no" And so it was.
She kept putting finger in mouth. I asked if she wanted a jelly bean. She reached right hand up slightly. I put jelly bean in. She seemed to try to lift it, but bean fell on her hospital
gown. I asked if I should pick it up, its kinda in a private spot. She slightly shook her head, so let it rest.
I found chair to sit beside her. Asked if I can hold her hand. Slight nod. Did that awhile. Then said "You seem SO incomfortable" "Huh" and emphatic nod.
Can I pray?
No response.
Hold that warm
hand.
"I want you to be able to rest. With your best friend God" Hand on her frail head.
Left and felt a draw after home to see her. Maybe if I was there aiI would see her let go.
I heard later, after one more visitor, she died. I feel like we will have a great clear loud conversation some day. And value this
I talk to her sometimes.
Wednesday
Large room. Her name on door, handwritten.
Room
for one, wide and open.
Frail scantily covered with hospital gown, friend lays in bed, laughing.
Some exchange about TV.
The sudden
Eyes wide-shock-unblinking-lock on mine. Panic?
"I need a doctor opinion"
Huuu huuu gasps,
looking confused
"What doctor? What question?"
"Ya know like on soap operas when they keep bickering?"
"Uhhh oh soap Operas..."
rring. Answers phone and lifts to ear "Oh Hi Patti" nice snd clear. Oh, giggle, busy!" "Ok, thanks, ttyl"
During pause I noticed the pink standard issue thin plastic pitcher has fallen.
To me-
"Sorry I did not accept invitation to the Caves."
"It is ok, we can all make choices"
"I just don't know what they have there"
"You made a choice and that is ok"
"Oh your pitcher fell down" Here ya go. Placed back on tray. Seemed simple, it was empty.
A plastic wrapped paper plate sat on the tray. Tightly securing a serving of spaghetti & sauce sprinkled with cheese. And a dinner roll.
I walked in hall to use restroom. A helper greeted me, asked if I had questions. I declined, referred her to a friend who has been more involved.
Stepping back in, I noticed pitcher had leaked to moisten 1/3 of bedding, including under her tan hospital ankle-socked feet. I asked if her feet felt wet. No response.
I asked "do you wanna eat? And got a glare. She was always decisive about what she ate or not. So let it go.
She said, "I need a breathing treatment"
So I let the friendly helper know updates & said she will change sheets and get breathing treatment.
Hug, hand squeeze and left.
Felt like she was quite alone.
----------
Thursday
Same room, same time.
Purple, dark, oval under wax papery skin of her left arm. Today I noticed her right hand was resting on a small black purse. Her left hand on her phone. She was in and out of slumber.
Opened eyes when helper stepped in the greet me. I asked if I could hold her hand, which I did, then she asked about my day. I showed clips of monarch butterfly emerging from chrysallis on our back porch that morning. She looked, said "ooh", then snored. When she opened her eyes again she said, "do you want some jello" and "I can't find the call button". "Its white and yellow".
There is was, as described, under pillow propping her arm. In her hand she held the button down "Can I get some jello?"
We sat awhile, I told her what a great spiritual friend she has been, how she keeps everyone around her going, and how, when she is resting w God, someday I'll meet here there and really get to swap stories. She fuzzed in and out but seemed to nod.
I said I had to go, she raised her head and asked "Whats the weather outside?"
"Muggy, but not THAT hot". Housto
regular.
"Oh yeah" she agreed.
------------
Friday
Breathing, gasping, from mouth. Dry cracked lips.
Jelly beans on tray & floor.
Juice with straw looks consumed.
Chest looks caved, achy.
She seemed so thirsty. Put right ha d fingers between her lips.
I put straw in another juice and held to her lips. "Do you want to drink?" She did not close lips. I asked "Can you close your lips?" When it was moved away she closed her lips briefly. (Maybe she is saying no). I said "Ok one more time, I'll put it up and if you don't drink I'll take it as no" And so it was.
She kept putting finger in mouth. I asked if she wanted a jelly bean. She reached right hand up slightly. I put jelly bean in. She seemed to try to lift it, but bean fell on her hospital
gown. I asked if I should pick it up, its kinda in a private spot. She slightly shook her head, so let it rest.
I found chair to sit beside her. Asked if I can hold her hand. Slight nod. Did that awhile. Then said "You seem SO incomfortable" "Huh" and emphatic nod.
Can I pray?
No response.
Hold that warm
hand.
"I want you to be able to rest. With your best friend God" Hand on her frail head.
Left and felt a draw after home to see her. Maybe if I was there aiI would see her let go.
I heard later, after one more visitor, she died. I feel like we will have a great clear loud conversation some day. And value this
I talk to her sometimes.
